Greatest Mistake

"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one." -Elbert Hubbard

Another Classic

So as I've been scurrying around like a flustered chicken in a coop because I'm moving to a different country in a few days, I have so many people to see, things to do, etc. Anyway, I have been turning to music to soothe my soul a bit. (Also to make packing significantly more exciting). So since I have been, I have rediscovered two musical truths: 1. Johnny Cash is basically untouchable in terms of quality and his ability to transcend lines of age, class, and geographic location while presenting innovative work, and brilliant story telling. 2. Motown songs are all about heart and soul. Otherwise they would just be dumb pop songs. Some of them are, the classics and the masters conquered the bubble gum to bring about real emotion and depth through the quality and inflection in their voices. The Temptations, Al Greene, and a few others absolutely have got expressing the feelings of human existence on lock. I promise that I don't just love Motown because I'm moving to Detroit, it's been a life long favorite. My family can attest to that. But today, here's a song from the Temptations:

Enjoy your day gentlepeople : D

"When the Man Comes Around" by Johnny Cash

I'm feeling pretty anxious this morning, just thought I would share my unabashed optimism ; )

"I am looking forward to ________."

So lately when I feel overwhelmed by life transitions I have been unintentionally making ridiculous statements in my head like, "I am looking forward to ________________." that totally distract me from my feelings. While this is probably not entirely healthy, it's usually when it's at a moment when I just do not have time to be processing emotions and thoughts. However, it does mean my posts may seem a bit little US-centric but it's probably just me focusing on small positives (i.e. my USPS post). While I feel really positive about joining Teach for America, moving back to the states does not necessarily feel like "moving home." It doesn't feel like a triumphant or long awaited return anyway. First of all, I'm not moving home to Philly. I'm moving to Detroit (no offense Motown, I'm sure you're great). Second of all, I have also made quite a life for myself here in Kingston, so it is also home. So, all these transitions and decisions are rather overwhelming. It's easier to think about things I am excited about, than things that I am not. Or things that have no blatant emotional strings attached to them per say. I.E. I often think, "I am really looking forward to eating watermelon and strawberries in Philly." because I strongly prefer watermelon there, and well strawberries cost an appendage here. Anyway, I get really excited about these statements, and then instead of thinking "I will be a confused train wreck on my flight home" or "I will miss this person," and all the feelings that arise with those sort of thoughts, I go "Mmmmm, watermelon." and move along.

Ebb and Tide.

This is one of my favorite pictures of my Nana. I'm not sure when exactly it's from. But it's from one of our annual bi-weekly trips to OCNJ. For a massive majority of those years Nana would take a walk on the beach in the morning time....That's the sort of thing I like to remember about her.

Lately, I've been thinking of her very often. Sometimes I start to get excited thinking I'll get to see her soon, or wanting to call her and tell her a story. It's hard living in a different country because in some one it makes death much less real. It just seems like a geographical circumstance....rather than mortality. Summer approaching probably also fills me with nostalgia for sitting on the deck watching the waves and stars. I sat on her lap in a rocking chair until I was almost as big as her (not too-too hard since she's rather short).

But a commingling of longing and memories of sea is a perfect combination. Hearts churn with the beating of the waves, and the ebb of the tides.....

Kenny Loggins, baby!

Round here we listen to Kenny Loggins epic musical creation "Footloose" pretty much every weekend. I won't cheapen this homage by mentioning that Boy George also gets pretty much weekly airtime. Tonight was even better than normal though, because there were two sounds (Read: Giant massive block of speakers) duking it out, fighting to be ruler of loudness...and yet both were playing "Footloose." Talk about surround sound, and good vibrations in the air. I could not help but feel ecstatic about life. Please don't lie to yourself, you know you can't resist.....Don't worry I provided it right here for you.



Keep it classy internet, keep it classy.

Snail Mail: A Passionate Composition

Did I ever mention that I love snail mail? There's something much more real about a letter or even a card. It's really exciting to get mail. When I was in the middle school, my best friends and I lived "far" away from each other (at least according to our pre-pubescent definitions of the words, less than 20 miles though). However, we made it a habit to regularly write letters or send post cards from various vacation spots through out the summer. I still have most of those letters from the early days. There's something really special about them.


Anyway, all of this to say, that's one thing I'm really looking forward to about moving back to the U.S. of A. Efficient and convenient postal service. Before anyone residing in America begins to complain, let me just say, I don't want to hear it. I thought I had some mailing woes when I lived in North Philly. Notice I said thought, now if I were talking to myself I would say "Boo hoo" and roll up my fists in the most mocking manner possible. Let me just say, one of the most wonderful things about the United States Postal Service (USPS) is speed. I can mail something, and tomorrow someone else will have it. I like it! Or even in 3 to 4 days if they live far away. Still acceptable. The second thing I love, is mailboxes.



(Image source and some more reading about mail @ Washwords)

Fire inside of me

Sometimes, when I'm feeling drained or overwhelmed, it's so good to look to God as the source for my strength...Not just for a physical energy but for the passion to have focus and zeal, and heart to do things.

"I can't recall."

This song was written in response to pretty terrible and blatant political maneuvering happening in an investigation regarding details of the Dudus extradition.

Lua - Bright Eyes

Whatever people want to say about Connor Oberst he has a beautiful way of weaving stories with simple phrases, that have a mellifluous flow punctuated expertly with sharp consonants. Plus, he's real good at describing the drudgery and agony of physiological disorders.

Me and Zidane

Joy!

Snapped at a family day trip we had this weekend.

"Your writing should, above all, be your own. It should stay true to your own voice and it should clearly reflect what it is about you that is important for the world to know." - Wisdom from mygretutor.com

Looking Forward

Lately I've been thinking about "looking forward" quite a bit.
Probably under a year ago I started running regularly. First I committed to atleast making time for myself three times a week to run, if not more. Then as my fitness grew it got more and more fun, and probably addictive. I found myself making time for more frequent and longer runs.
Recently I did my first race/run. When I signed up I wasn't really worried about the distance, because I'm used to running much further. However, I figured since it was my first race I should do some reading up. I read a bit about running posture in general, and there was a lot of mention of looking forward into the distance and staying relaxed. Something about this really hit home for me and became a good discipline. My running style has changed, and when I'm running, even when I'm tired, I feel like there's more fight inside me.
Applying this to life, and not just running has been attitude changing.
The morning of my race I was a bit nervous because after the worst first attempt at tapering ever, I was actually quite sore and my knee aching. Before I ran I read this scripture:

It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on heights. Psalm 18:32-33

I was filled with confidence knowing that looking forward is about so much more than the physical horizon.